How did I get here?

By: Shwanda Jones Just a few weeks ago, I was all gung ho, Got a vision from the Creator, I gave it a go Rewind to a couple months ago, stability at least I could count on as I went to and fro Here I am, where I never left Only forgot where I parked  so I just been circling giving bystanders my regards Claim to be an intellectual, but not smart enough to start a personal confessional I know He's listening but I can't even part my lips to mention Him Muffled and bound Who's fault? Believe it was I that wondered into the playground I saw the sign, went anyway Too bold to think I wouldn't stray Now I'm too weak to play Desperately calling for a ride home, but I'm not in my right mind to find a phone Years have past, same ole things cause me to crash Ordained for the people, they watching, I'm sure they'll laugh All what they expected, never what I anticipated Flesh didn't drown me, yet temptation of another face found me Not what we do, but what we don't I didn't prepare for the war, it was all quiet on the front Just a baby, I crutch Given a task, but I threw it down to run fast Stuck in a place where I can't come out Kneel to pray, redundancies come out Praise is muffled, hearts are bruised on the brink of living lost, a love lost, a purpose confused Sitting on the corner, getting tucked by lullabies Guess this is what it sounds like when doves cry Too busy, too proud, too scared didn't see the signs, my head just wasn't there I can't speak for you or you or you But I sure wish I knew the truth I think I do, but I see double Too weak to discern, had it clear… you live and you learn 24, destiny paused, purpose withdrawn, others waiting pressure didn't bring me here, I hesitated How did I get here? Been here… Once as a fighter, now a prisoner…sure hope He gets me out of here. Shwanda